David Herdson on tonight’s big European election

David Herdson on tonight’s big European election

Who is on for douze points?

Hello and welcome once again to this European extravaganza; this celebration of all that is best and brightest about this continent; this joyous coming together of nations near and far. Oh all right, who am I kidding?

The big question of course is will Britain triumph for the first time since Terry Wogan was in short trousers – and I don’t mean the lederhosen he sported that time in … apparently I’m not allowed to tell that story. Poor Terry, sadly missed.

It is true that despite a lot of promise in recent years, Britain’s not had much success on the continent recently. Will this be the year to change all that or are we simply part of something which doesn’t suit our way of doing things, to which we’ll forever be outsiders?

Who can forget that after so many hopes were stored up last time, coming back home with a very measly return. I thought it was quite good actually but then what do I know? The problem is of course that you can’t vote for yourself and you have to put yourself in the hands of a lot of foreigners – and who’d want to do that? Having said that, there are one or two that I wouldn’t mind putting myself in the hands of but we won’t go there right now.

Returning to today’s offering, do we stand a chance of getting our way? Will we not be alone, for once or will we once again be dancing to a different beat? Going on past form, I can’t honestly be too optimistic but if there’s one thing that’s for sure, the boys flying the flag won’t be short of energy. And you never know. Some unkind people have described the offering put forward as ‘vapid bilge’. I think that’s unfair. Don’t you think that’s unfair? I think it’s unfair. Still, maybe it’s not quite a second Waterloo, if you know what I mean.

If I can be serious for a moment – don’t worry, it won’t last – I do wonder if we’ve missed how the whole thing’s changed over the last twenty years. It’s not just about the performance but it’s about the wider vision, and that’s not something we’ve done terribly well at. Maybe if we want to be more successful at this lark, we should look at what’s worked for other countries and adapt our own version of that. Just a thought.

Anyway, too late to change things for this year so just sit back and enjoy the show. And remember, if it feels like it’s been going on a long time already, just wait to see how you feel once the voting’s finished.

David Herdson, of sorts.

Eurovision takes place this evening. The EU referendum is on June 23.

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