Guest slot by David Lenton.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last 12 months then I’m sure you’ve heard of Julian Assange – you know that kinda weird looking guy from Wiki Leaks? Anyway in what can only be described as a self serving publicity stunt online bookmaker Stan James have decided it’s time to open up two betting markets surrounding Ecuadorâ€™s latest and greatest.
How Will Assange Leave The Ecuadorian Embassy?
The first of the two markets punters will be flocking to is entitled ‘How Will Julian Assange Leave The Ecuadorian Embassy?’ and currently betting options include:
In a British Police Car – priced at a somewhat stingy 6/5
In an Ecuadorian State Car – priced up at 13/8
In a Diplomatic Crate or Bag – priced longer at 4/1
Helicopter – currently up at 7/1
Ambulance – which is 10/1
Tunnel – a speculative 50/1
London Black Cab – in his dreams priced at 66/1
Batmobile – priced at 200/1
After a quick look through the market I’m pretty sure we can rule out Tunnel and Batmobile although the 200/1 would be a nice little pay day. Black Cab is the option next I’m striking off as I’m pretty sure Wiki Leaks is a non profit organisation so there’s no way he’s affording this and in an ambulance just isn’t going to happen either especially now the entire world is watching. A quick Google search for ‘Ecuadorian embassy helipad’ yields information detailing the minute size of the embassy and the fact that it doesn’t even have a car park so unless he is winched out of there this isn’t happening. I’m not parting with my cash at 7/1 when they don’t even have a legitimate landing zone.
This leaves us with three options; British police car, Ecuadorian state car and diplomatic crate which for those of you who don’t know is some kind of container with diplomatic immunity from search or seizure and yes as you’ve probably guessed this isn’t going happen either.
What it boils down to is whether or not the powers that be cave to the mounting support for Assange or they extradite him to Sweden to face up to various charges including those of sexual assault. Given that it’s about 1,000,000/1 that Sweden would extradite Assange to the US to face the death penalty I’m swaying towards British police car at 13/8. The astute among you will have noticed that Stan James clearly state *others available on request so perhaps on foot might actually be the best bet available…
When Will Julian Assange Leave The Ecuadorian Embassy?
The second market Stan James has is entitled ‘When Will Julian Assange Leave The Ecuadorian Embassy?’ and currently options for this mouth watering betting feast include:
August 2012 to November 2012 – 13/8
November 2012 to February 2013 – 6/4
March 2013 to July 2013 – 11/4
August 2012 to August 2014 – 5/1
September 2014 or later – 10/1
Even though Rafael Correa Ecuadorâ€™s current president has said that Julian Assange can stay in the embassy indefinitely at some stage he’s going to have to move on and while Correa sees this as a stand against Anglo-American Imperialism I’m pretty sure the UK government just sees it as a pain in the neck.
For many this saga has dragged on long enough and it doesn’t show any immediate signs of coming to a conclusion which for me rules of option 1 of August 2012 to November 2012 priced up at 13/8. On the flip side of the coin September 2014 or later doesn’t appear viable either as the UK government will want a resolution to this situation to avoid more media criticism, speculation, and sensationalism. Not to mention that eventually the cost of keeping the man there will eventually hit the news if the situation remains unresolved and we all know what a hyper sensitive topic that is at the moment.
This leaves either November 2012 to February 2013 priced at 6/4 and March 2013 to July 2013 priced at 11/4. Mounting pressure for a resolution will come well before March 2013 rolls around so the 6/4 on November 2012 to February 2013 is where my money would be going.
How much of my money will be going there … what’s the minimum bet at Stan James again?
David Lenton is the editor of the website cheekypunter.com